Nobody knows the trouble I have experienced or seen inside
our public prisons. Nobody has walked in my shoes and felt the emotional pain,
sorrow or regrets that cover my 25 years plus inside the penitentiaries. Although
I truly believe it is human nature to try and forget these things that cause
the emotional pain and bad memories, trying to forget is nearly impossible for
those that have been exposed to the ugliness in their lives.
I guess it’s fair to say that not everything was in done in vain
or without a just cause. It is human nature to take the good with the bad and
remember the good times as well as those that triggered stress and anxiety
while doing this job. Nothing takes away the pain but we must admit that every
experience we witnessed or be a part of triggered another perspective on life
and made us appreciate what we had rather than what has been lost. Regrets are
not part of this equation.
Through the years there were rash decisions hinged on life
and death and other influences that were based on nothing but reactionary self-defensive
needs or panic. Regardless, most of them were the right moves in
keeping myself or others safe and that’s what really counts in the long run.
It is true that many decisions are made without much
consultation or advice from others. You draw on your own experiences and gut
feelings to do what you think is the right thing to do. Expecting to be second
guessed almost immediately after each and every major decision made, you take
the criticism with a grain of salt and hope the Monday morning quarterbacks see
the same thing you did when you executed your plan or strategy to deal with the
situations.
There will always be intense conversations and political
discussions by your counterparts or bosses. Counsel or advice is plentiful and
cheap in corrections and used as a common device to provide input to your
actions as your decisions are viewed either favorably or harshly wrong as there
appears to be no middle ground. The level of criticism depends on the source,
the political implications while making these calls.
In corrections there is no perfect union between boss and
subordinates. Everyone agrees to disagree and all are engaged in talking about
the do’s and don’ts that are often preached but rarely followed up by real
action or personal examples. You are
almost warned daily of your shortcomings and dysfunctional management styles as
you are accused of creating a protective bubble around you to avoid being
accused or harmed while in this harsh environment instead of focusing on
business at all costs.
You are always in direct competition with the private sector
that is bidding for beds and your indebtedness to your hire or your boss is
exponentially divided between doing what is right and what morally
questionable. Regardless whether you are seeking improvements or facing the
challenging conditions heads up, you know that time is not on your side as time
is of the essence to get the job done within the time line allowed.
Whether or not you are successful will impact your credibility
as a resource or asset and the harder you work, the more the system will expect
you to outperform the others. The one thing you can depend on is not getting
any support in this process and be offered a political bailout for your efforts.
Once you fill your coffee cup up to the brim there are no refills from anyone
else but yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment