Agree to Disagree - what does it really mean?

 don’t know how many times I have heard this and to be honest, I think I have used it myself before not realizing how it really sit after the talking is done. In all reality, I don’t think the point debated or talked about was ever resolved and still up in the air from where it was in the beginning. Thus my conclusion is that nothing has been accomplished and nothing was really done.

I will be the first to admit that when you put two or more persons in the same room you might get as many opinions as there are people. This is logical because not everyone is going to agree with everyone on points of this discussion. Having opposite views on any subject is healthy and invites a thought process that is good for everyone inside that room.

The last thing you want to happen is a stalemate or challenge that brings the conversation to an end. Discussions and debates should not be curtailed because of phony attempts to make a point that may or may not be legitimate in fact or truths.

To challenge point is one thing but to stifle the other person is wrong. Nobody wants to created conflict yet there are many that thrive off such emotional bantering. Arguing or bantering does nothing to reveal the truth or fact surrounding the topic of discussion. In fact, it is often disrespectful and counterproductive and serves only the purpose of concealing the truth.

When you agree to disagree (ATD) several things happen you may or may not be aware of. First of all the facts remain buried and uncovered by closing the discussion without resolve. Secondly, we deny ourselves an opportunity to learn the facts without challenging the comments made. Third the exchange is left with the person’s last comment that may be false, leaving an erroneous impression.

It is reasonable to conclude that once someone has settled in this type of agreement or disagreement, they will no longer search for the truth of facts related to the discussion. This denies them an opportunity to research, investigate or inquire and examine the truth of the matter at hand.

In my opinion, although you might disagree with me, the use of ATD is a kind way to stop a debate and may have elements that resembles disrespectful or smug thinking. When you really think about it, using the ATD process you really accomplish two things: you avoid hearing or learning the truth or the facts involved and you know you have “rocked the boat.” It is likely that even this personal perspective or viewpoint is enough to agree to disagree.